Your Guide to Safe Sex Underwater

Ever since that infamous scene in jaws, where those two promiscuous teens were attacked by a shark at the worst time, there’s been fear and uncertainty about getting frisky in bodies of water. Is it safe? Will fish swim up my you-know-what? Let’s sort all this fishy business out once and for all, so we can all enjoy getting wet and wild this summer. Here’s what you need to know about having sex underwater:

1. Use precaution. Put condoms on before getting into the water; otherwise, water can get inside the condom and cause leakages, breakage, or slip-n-slide right off.

2. Don’t get too dirty. Lakes and oceans are some of the dirtiest bodies of water, so beware of the possibility of germs and the irritation they can cause. Dirt and particles can even compromise your condom.

3. Be safe. Don’t get so distracted with the hypnotic way your lover’s hair and breasts flow in the water that you forget to watch for wake-boarders and speed boats!

4. Get adventurous. Hot springs are a safer option than lakes and most pools. But since every hot spring has different minerals, see if you can find out what’s in the water before you have sex in it. Common minerals are sulfur (which is actually good because it’s an anti-bacterial) and lithium.

5. Bring lube. Sex underwater washes away your natural lubrication. It does not act as lubrication, as many people might think. So it’s a good idea to use some extra lube for her comfort. If you can plan ahead, make sure to pack some with your sunscreen and flip flops!

6. Try oral. Even with lube, penetration can be uncomfortable for her underwater, so consider foreplay and oral in or under the water, then take it on land for intercourse. There’s nothing like a little surf ‘n’ turf.

7. Go natural. In pools and hot tubs, shoot for natural pools and hot tubs to avoid chlorine, which is it gets into the vagina, can cause infection. As an alternative, try giving oral instead, having your lady sit on the edge of the pool on top of a towel, while he’s submerged in front of her.

8. Be respectful. If you’re a couple of exhibitionists, make sure the pool or body of water is appropriate for that, or big enough so you won’t impose your slippery sexcapades onto others who may not want to see that—especially if there are children around.

9. Plan ahead. Surprise your lover with waterproof sex toys like ”The Wave” couple’s vibrating orgasm ring or the ”Quick-Draw G-Vibe”.  Now, this is where the real fun begins!

Now that we’ve washed away all the myths, and learned the best ways to make a little motion in the ocean, I think there’s only one thing left to ask: “which way to the beach?” Just remember: safety, comfort, and discretion are the main things to focus on. Hope you have a splashing good time!